Unseen Victims 

I've been trying to put thoughts together about the deluge of sexual assault/harassment stories in the news right now. My first thought is that it is about time that women who use their voices to say "This happened. It shouldn't have happened" are being heard and seemingly believed. Too many of us have held our experiences out of fear: we fear we won't be believed, or that we would be held responsible for someone else's actions, or we minimize what happened to us.
My next thought went right to the family members and spouses of those who are now publicly outed. How horrific for them! They are the "silent" victims of the sexual misbehaviors of their loved one; they are now faced with "Who is this person? What will happen to me? How could they betray me this way and put everything at risk like this?" They may even fear people would say cruel things like "How did she/he not know!" - this is another way of blaming the victim and discounting the pain to those who are closest.
I am so grateful that we are believing the victims who were sexually mistreated! I also want to call us to support and help those who are caught in the fallout when their whole lives blow up due to someone else's behaviors. They are the unseen victims here. Sexual harassment, sexual infidelity, sexual manipulation, and sexual assault victimizes anyone and everyone close to the offender. We must not minimize it or ignore it one more second. Barbara Steffens